The reason old people have bad reputations(well, him and their driving)

Now, onto Mercury Morris. For those that don't know, Mercury Morris was the running back for the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only team to ever have a perfect season(and they're now on their way to being the first team to go 0-16, which I called in the first month of the season), going 17-0(There were only 14 regular season games back then) and winning the Superbowl. Since then, the regular season has been expanded to sixteen games, and the legend goes that when the last undefeated team loses a game, the members of the 72 Fins pop the cork on a bottle of champagne to celebrate the fact that they are the only ones atop the tower. I, among many others, questioned how true this was, that a bunch of old men could be so bitter and petty, but that was before Mercury Morris.

In the 2005 season, the loathesome Indianapolis Colts were reeling off wins like it was no one's business, eventually making it to 13-0. I recall watching ESPN's Cold Pizza(now known as First Take), and whenever a team goes undefeated for so long, they usually like to interview a member of the 72 Dolphins team, because clearly a guy that played 30 years ago would have relative insight into this. For some reason they chose one Mercury Morris, a man that was so belligerent and crude they actually cut the satellite feed mid-interview, and awkwardly went to commercial. Then the Colts lost, and he wasn't heard from again, due to no team taking the undefeated streak that far last season.

Enter 07. This time, it's New England with the goose egg in the loss column, and while you'd think they learned their lesson, ESPN has once again decided to bring back the only person I've ever known to be truly worthy of the word "curmudgeon", Mercury Morris. And what has he done? Look for yourself:








You have to realize, that this year, no team has been more vilified or hated than the New England Patriots. And I've read on multiple sites that the complete, overflowing assholery of this man has made them want New England to run the table, in the hopes that Morris either shuts up or returns to his fledgling cocaine business from the 80s and takes one line too many. I mean, for all the accusations of cheating and beating weak opponents the Patriots have taken, this is a Dolphins team with the lowest strength of schedule(the winning percentage of their opponents) of any Superbowl winner, and oh yeah, they cheated and broke an NFL rule when they signed head coach Don Shula(Not curmudgeon-level yet, but certainly cantankerous) away from another team, while he was still under contract. Yet do you see anyone clamoring for an asterisk on their undefeated season? No, they're to be revered, and constantly fellated by every sports journalist and publication. And to their credit, no other member of the team has reached the depths of douchebaggery inhabited by Mercury, so it seems he's alone in his senility. But I can say that it truly saddens me that he wasn't born two years earlier, so he might've somehow found his way into a gas chamber.

Now, I haven't commented on the big picture yet, and I won't, because I view it week to week, and right now, the team we will have to play at our absolute best to beat is the Pittsburgh Steelers. They do everything that the Ravens and Eagles did the past two weeks, but they do it much better, and with the NFL's #1 defense. Previously, when the top defense and offense met, I'd always side with the defense. This time, I'm hoping I'm wrong. As I stated earlier in the season, the one weakness this team has is the run defense. The loss of Roosevelt Colvin only makes it worse. The reason is wasn't evident was because we'd jump out to such huge leads early in the game, that teams would have to pass against us, and couldn't afford to run. But now that we're playing close games, or trailing until the final 44 seconds of the game(heart attack in Baltimore, Jesus fucking christ), it's being exposed. The Eagles ran on us, The Ravens ran like fuck on us, even the Dolphins in a massive losing effort put up 200 on the ground. And now we face Pittsburgh, a team with the second leading rusher in the NFL(Behind Purple Jesus), and the league's top rated defense, which is known for their zone blitzing. I'm not saying it's impossible, because I always believe that this team will win. But we will have to play absolutely perfect football. Perfect.