Every Guy's Got One

2. mancrush

The highest tier of a man's love for another man, without having any sexual want towards the man.

I have a mancrush on Ryan Dunn for being the man.



To many, the mancrush is a strange thing. Some don't understand exactly what it entails, whether it's attraction, respect, admiration, or something else. This NFL season, I've realized that my mancrush is one Randy Moss, newly acquired wide receiver for the New England Patriots. Basically, if Randy was royalty, I would gladly pledge my allegience to him. There isn't a shadow of a fucking doubt in my mind that he is simply the best receiver in football, period. There is no contest, there is no question. One look at his wikipedia page will show you the various records he holds. And yesterday, during a brutal faceraping of the Dolphins in which the Pats were leading 42-7 at halftime, he had caught two touchdown passes, including one with his fucking elbow. Every game, every week, I see Tom Brady throw a ball up, and Randy is double covered. And the ball comes down, and I curse, because it looks as if one or both defenders got a hand and either broke it up or intercepted it. But then Randy stands up, football in hand, making it look like the easiest fucking thing.

In the entire Belichick era, there has never been a team like this. It's always been defense first, and then Tom Brady just finds a way to get points on the board. During the Superbowl years of 03 and 04, the team went 14-2, but they were all hard fought games, many won on the final drives. But this is something completely different. There's never been a team under him that's been such an offensive juggernaut, and Tom Brady's sure as fuck never had a weapon like Randy Moss. 3rd and 18? No problem, just heave it towards the endzone. Oh look, Randy caught the ball over two defenders. With one hand. While sleeping. And he'll always have the presence to know how close he is to going out of bounds, and that he'll have to drag his feet. And it doesn't hurt to have Tom Brady throwing it, who somehow manages to put the ball right out of the defender's range, but exactly where Randy can pull it in. Whether it's from the side, the top, underneath, wherever. And I'm not trying to be one of those gloating New England fans, because I know how they are. I'm honestly just amazed at the way this season has progressed thus far. I'm not going to get ahead of myself and make bold predictions or statements. One week at a game, one game at a time. But what we've seen so far has been nothing short of magnificent.