'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Everyone's heard that saying at one point or another. It's frequently tossed out to comfort a newly single acquaintance, usually paired with the equally eloquent "There's plenty of other fish in the sea." To those that have spoken this line in the context of relationships, if you believe it, you've never felt love. I understand what loneliness can do to someone, how it can feel not having a counterpart by your side to progress through life, lift you up when you're down, and other cliches. But I can say for a fact, from personal experience, and from observing others, the feeling of being sans love is nothing compared to finding that love, and then losing it. It's not possible it can come close. Even if you take a person that is so lonely they're hopelessly depressed; if you were to give them love, and then take it away, they would sink into unimaginable depths.
Everyone has experienced loneliness. No one has their perfect match throughout their entire life, we've all been jealous of seeing the popular couple walk around school/the neighborhood/elsewhere and wondered why it couldn't be you. It's not easy, but it's not an impossible feeling to deal with. It's always there, but you manage to go about your daily routine sans interruption. But having that perfect level of happiness, knowing that no matter how bad your day was, you'll have that someone to talk to, there'll always be that person that won't turn on you, is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. And getting accustomed to, and then losing it, is an emptiness I would wish on very few people. The only way that I can describe losing love is being eaten alive from the inside. Of course, the common metaphor is your heart breaking. But it goes far beyond that. The normal routine you'd been accustomed to, having that person there to talk to or see, all of a sudden has been turned on its head. Your mind doesn't know what to do, because usually when you had a problem or something to talk about, that was the person you'd talk to. It's also the only thing you can think about. You wonder what caused it, did you make a mistake somewhere, did you take something for granted, what was the cause, and how can you redeem yourself? Everyone tells you it's best to move on, but you can't. Your body, your mind, they aren't ready to move on. You'd prefer to take a million steps backwards to fix the situation than to take one step forwards and move on with your life. You stop eating, you stop caring about anything else. You don't see your friends, you don't talk to anyone, you become a literal shell of yourself. Everyone on the outside sees you, they see a person standing there, the person they recognize from so many memories. But inside, you're hollow. The biggest part of your life just up and disappeared, and you don't know how to react. It's a swirl of emotions and some people get through it, and some don't. But trust me when I say that if you're still waiting for your first love, you're better off.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Life or something like it
Life. We all know what life is, but can we really give it an accurate description?
1. the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
Ok, there's the literal, scientific definition. But think bigger.
3. the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual: to risk one's life; a short life and a merry one.
Getting a bit closer, let's try it once more.
11. the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence: His business has been his entire life.
There we go. We are all alive, we all experience life in our own ways. We're told that a person's goal is to make the most of their life. But what exactly does that mean? Every person or group has their own take on the meaning of life, from the various religious aspects(getting into Heaven, getting a bunch of virgins, Xenu) to the more simplified version(there is no afterlife, so do what you can, while you can). But there is no universal goal that every single one of us strives for. The reason for that? Life doesn't matter anymore.
Since birth, your parents are going to pound this idea into your head: Your goal is go to school, go to college and get a degree, and get a job that pays you a lot of money. Once you have accomplished those steps, you are now considered a "success". But why exactly is that? Why is the bar set so low? The average lifespan for a human in the United States is typically in the mid to late 70s. Yet this goal, the degree, the job, this can all be achieved by the time you're 30. So what kind of world is it when we're not expected to have ambition beyond the first 1/3 of our life? The long and short of it is, from the second you escape the womb, your clock is counting down. At some completely random point in your future, you will die. It could be 80 years, it could be 80 weeks. In theory, knowing that your time could be up at any moment, shouldn't you be trying to accomplish as much as humanly possible with your time?
The fact is that outside of a very, very, very small percentage of people, the life you live won't matter. I'm not trying to attack people or bring them down, but for the most part, your accomplishments, whatever they are, will not outlive you. When your day comes and the clock runs out, that's it. That job that you were so good at, that your boss loved you for? They'll hire someone else. That house that you saved up for years to buy, designed just the way you want it? It'll go back on the market for someone else to buy. It's like (and I'm not trying to make pop culture references here, but it fits) William Hung, girl x from the Real World, etc. When they get their 15 minutes of fame, they'll do all sorts of things to stay relevant and get attention. But once it runs out, no one will care. No one's going to lament the void left by the Numa Numa guy. Life is the exact same way. And the reason for all this is the fact that humanity as a whole is spoiled. Looking at life centuries ago, nothing was guaranteed. Life and survival had to be earned, there was no middle ground where you could just make enough money to get by and stop. You either strived for the best you could be, or you lived in total poverty and usually wound up dying rather quickly. But today? The instinct we had is gone.
When America was first formed, the early leaders had this idea of Manifest Destiny tattooed in their heads. And it wasn't a short-term thing, they were determined to stretch across the land "from sea to shining sea". And it definitely wasn't fast, it took a few decades, but they accomplished it. Fast forward a few more decades, and we're sending rockets into space, a place that had always been there up above everyone's heads, but we never imagined we'd reach. Then in 1969, we put a man on the moon. Common sense would have you think that it'd be the tip of the iceberg, but here we are, nearly 40 years later, and that's as far as we've gone. In fact, we haven't even been that far since 72. Apparently there is no interest in anything else out there. "We'll we've seen the moon, what else is there?" A light year is the distance that a beam of light can travel in a 365-day span, approximately 5.8 trillion miles. A gigalight-year is one billion light years. Now, we know that there are other galaxies and objects in space as far as a gigalight-year away, and the visible edge of the universe is 46 gigalight-years from Earth. So realizing that this tiny spinning rock makes up such a microscopic, negligible, minuscule part of the universe, you would think that there would be some sort of attempt to see what lies beyond. But alas, no. I mean, yes there are scientists who study this, hoping to find a break, or find some way of making it feasible and possible in the near future. But everyone else? You can ask people on the street about their hopes for space exploration, and they're probably say they're more concerned with what's going to happen on Grey's Anatomy.
So why are so many people content to just follow the blueprint? It's hereditary. You're going to have person A, who is told that the school-college-job formula is the definition of success. So they do it, meet someone, start a family, and pass on the blueprint. Instead of completely stimulating a child's motivation, telling them that literally anything and everything is within their reach, we're just telling them "Hey, this worked for me, why don't you give it a shot". When you get the child that wants to go off and do their own thing, to actually follow their dreams, they often become the family's black sheep. Instead of being supported and lauded for actually pursuing something they love, trying to find that balance between economic success and happiness in life, they're viewed as an outcast and branded as a failure-in-waiting. Creativity and a desire to actually change the world are viewed as negative character traits, and applause is reserved for the ones that walk in previously laid footsteps. And anytime someone does wind up doing something unique? They are immediately swarmed with parasites, and you'll see countless carbon-copies and clones pop up, trying to ride the wave of success.
I hate to quote Hatebreed here, but the title of an early album is Satisfaction is the Death of Desire. And that's the problem we face. And while it's partially because we're reaching our level of satisfaction too early in life, the main cause is the definition of satisfaction that we're being given. We as a people need to never be satisfied. Complacency is letting your guard down. Once you stop believing that you can fail, once you believe that all is well, that's when things will go South. I mean, if you feel that you've accomplished your goal in life, why stick around? You're going to spend the next 40-50 years wasting space. You don't have 30 years to stimulate your mind, and 50 years to live the same exact routine. You have an entire lifetime, no matter how long or short, to fully exert yourself mentally and try to actually make an impact. So do it. Whatever is in your heart, no matter how far-fetched or impossible it may be, shoot for it. Drop everything that would be a roadblock and pursue your own happiness.
I say, let me never be complete. I say, may I never be content.
1. the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
Ok, there's the literal, scientific definition. But think bigger.
3. the animate existence or period of animate existence of an individual: to risk one's life; a short life and a merry one.
Getting a bit closer, let's try it once more.
11. the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence: His business has been his entire life.
There we go. We are all alive, we all experience life in our own ways. We're told that a person's goal is to make the most of their life. But what exactly does that mean? Every person or group has their own take on the meaning of life, from the various religious aspects(getting into Heaven, getting a bunch of virgins, Xenu) to the more simplified version(there is no afterlife, so do what you can, while you can). But there is no universal goal that every single one of us strives for. The reason for that? Life doesn't matter anymore.
Since birth, your parents are going to pound this idea into your head: Your goal is go to school, go to college and get a degree, and get a job that pays you a lot of money. Once you have accomplished those steps, you are now considered a "success". But why exactly is that? Why is the bar set so low? The average lifespan for a human in the United States is typically in the mid to late 70s. Yet this goal, the degree, the job, this can all be achieved by the time you're 30. So what kind of world is it when we're not expected to have ambition beyond the first 1/3 of our life? The long and short of it is, from the second you escape the womb, your clock is counting down. At some completely random point in your future, you will die. It could be 80 years, it could be 80 weeks. In theory, knowing that your time could be up at any moment, shouldn't you be trying to accomplish as much as humanly possible with your time?
The fact is that outside of a very, very, very small percentage of people, the life you live won't matter. I'm not trying to attack people or bring them down, but for the most part, your accomplishments, whatever they are, will not outlive you. When your day comes and the clock runs out, that's it. That job that you were so good at, that your boss loved you for? They'll hire someone else. That house that you saved up for years to buy, designed just the way you want it? It'll go back on the market for someone else to buy. It's like (and I'm not trying to make pop culture references here, but it fits) William Hung, girl x from the Real World, etc. When they get their 15 minutes of fame, they'll do all sorts of things to stay relevant and get attention. But once it runs out, no one will care. No one's going to lament the void left by the Numa Numa guy. Life is the exact same way. And the reason for all this is the fact that humanity as a whole is spoiled. Looking at life centuries ago, nothing was guaranteed. Life and survival had to be earned, there was no middle ground where you could just make enough money to get by and stop. You either strived for the best you could be, or you lived in total poverty and usually wound up dying rather quickly. But today? The instinct we had is gone.
When America was first formed, the early leaders had this idea of Manifest Destiny tattooed in their heads. And it wasn't a short-term thing, they were determined to stretch across the land "from sea to shining sea". And it definitely wasn't fast, it took a few decades, but they accomplished it. Fast forward a few more decades, and we're sending rockets into space, a place that had always been there up above everyone's heads, but we never imagined we'd reach. Then in 1969, we put a man on the moon. Common sense would have you think that it'd be the tip of the iceberg, but here we are, nearly 40 years later, and that's as far as we've gone. In fact, we haven't even been that far since 72. Apparently there is no interest in anything else out there. "We'll we've seen the moon, what else is there?" A light year is the distance that a beam of light can travel in a 365-day span, approximately 5.8 trillion miles. A gigalight-year is one billion light years. Now, we know that there are other galaxies and objects in space as far as a gigalight-year away, and the visible edge of the universe is 46 gigalight-years from Earth. So realizing that this tiny spinning rock makes up such a microscopic, negligible, minuscule part of the universe, you would think that there would be some sort of attempt to see what lies beyond. But alas, no. I mean, yes there are scientists who study this, hoping to find a break, or find some way of making it feasible and possible in the near future. But everyone else? You can ask people on the street about their hopes for space exploration, and they're probably say they're more concerned with what's going to happen on Grey's Anatomy.
So why are so many people content to just follow the blueprint? It's hereditary. You're going to have person A, who is told that the school-college-job formula is the definition of success. So they do it, meet someone, start a family, and pass on the blueprint. Instead of completely stimulating a child's motivation, telling them that literally anything and everything is within their reach, we're just telling them "Hey, this worked for me, why don't you give it a shot". When you get the child that wants to go off and do their own thing, to actually follow their dreams, they often become the family's black sheep. Instead of being supported and lauded for actually pursuing something they love, trying to find that balance between economic success and happiness in life, they're viewed as an outcast and branded as a failure-in-waiting. Creativity and a desire to actually change the world are viewed as negative character traits, and applause is reserved for the ones that walk in previously laid footsteps. And anytime someone does wind up doing something unique? They are immediately swarmed with parasites, and you'll see countless carbon-copies and clones pop up, trying to ride the wave of success.
I hate to quote Hatebreed here, but the title of an early album is Satisfaction is the Death of Desire. And that's the problem we face. And while it's partially because we're reaching our level of satisfaction too early in life, the main cause is the definition of satisfaction that we're being given. We as a people need to never be satisfied. Complacency is letting your guard down. Once you stop believing that you can fail, once you believe that all is well, that's when things will go South. I mean, if you feel that you've accomplished your goal in life, why stick around? You're going to spend the next 40-50 years wasting space. You don't have 30 years to stimulate your mind, and 50 years to live the same exact routine. You have an entire lifetime, no matter how long or short, to fully exert yourself mentally and try to actually make an impact. So do it. Whatever is in your heart, no matter how far-fetched or impossible it may be, shoot for it. Drop everything that would be a roadblock and pursue your own happiness.
I say, let me never be complete. I say, may I never be content.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
The reason old people have bad reputations(well, him and their driving)
Now, onto Mercury Morris. For those that don't know, Mercury Morris was the running back for the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only team to ever have a perfect season(and they're now on their way to being the first team to go 0-16, which I called in the first month of the season), going 17-0(There were only 14 regular season games back then) and winning the Superbowl. Since then, the regular season has been expanded to sixteen games, and the legend goes that when the last undefeated team loses a game, the members of the 72 Fins pop the cork on a bottle of champagne to celebrate the fact that they are the only ones atop the tower. I, among many others, questioned how true this was, that a bunch of old men could be so bitter and petty, but that was before Mercury Morris.
In the 2005 season, the loathesome Indianapolis Colts were reeling off wins like it was no one's business, eventually making it to 13-0. I recall watching ESPN's Cold Pizza(now known as First Take), and whenever a team goes undefeated for so long, they usually like to interview a member of the 72 Dolphins team, because clearly a guy that played 30 years ago would have relative insight into this. For some reason they chose one Mercury Morris, a man that was so belligerent and crude they actually cut the satellite feed mid-interview, and awkwardly went to commercial. Then the Colts lost, and he wasn't heard from again, due to no team taking the undefeated streak that far last season.
Enter 07. This time, it's New England with the goose egg in the loss column, and while you'd think they learned their lesson, ESPN has once again decided to bring back the only person I've ever known to be truly worthy of the word "curmudgeon", Mercury Morris. And what has he done? Look for yourself:
You have to realize, that this year, no team has been more vilified or hated than the New England Patriots. And I've read on multiple sites that the complete, overflowing assholery of this man has made them want New England to run the table, in the hopes that Morris either shuts up or returns to his fledgling cocaine business from the 80s and takes one line too many. I mean, for all the accusations of cheating and beating weak opponents the Patriots have taken, this is a Dolphins team with the lowest strength of schedule(the winning percentage of their opponents) of any Superbowl winner, and oh yeah, they cheated and broke an NFL rule when they signed head coach Don Shula(Not curmudgeon-level yet, but certainly cantankerous) away from another team, while he was still under contract. Yet do you see anyone clamoring for an asterisk on their undefeated season? No, they're to be revered, and constantly fellated by every sports journalist and publication. And to their credit, no other member of the team has reached the depths of douchebaggery inhabited by Mercury, so it seems he's alone in his senility. But I can say that it truly saddens me that he wasn't born two years earlier, so he might've somehow found his way into a gas chamber.
Now, I haven't commented on the big picture yet, and I won't, because I view it week to week, and right now, the team we will have to play at our absolute best to beat is the Pittsburgh Steelers. They do everything that the Ravens and Eagles did the past two weeks, but they do it much better, and with the NFL's #1 defense. Previously, when the top defense and offense met, I'd always side with the defense. This time, I'm hoping I'm wrong. As I stated earlier in the season, the one weakness this team has is the run defense. The loss of Roosevelt Colvin only makes it worse. The reason is wasn't evident was because we'd jump out to such huge leads early in the game, that teams would have to pass against us, and couldn't afford to run. But now that we're playing close games, or trailing until the final 44 seconds of the game(heart attack in Baltimore, Jesus fucking christ), it's being exposed. The Eagles ran on us, The Ravens ran like fuck on us, even the Dolphins in a massive losing effort put up 200 on the ground. And now we face Pittsburgh, a team with the second leading rusher in the NFL(Behind Purple Jesus), and the league's top rated defense, which is known for their zone blitzing. I'm not saying it's impossible, because I always believe that this team will win. But we will have to play absolutely perfect football. Perfect.
In the 2005 season, the loathesome Indianapolis Colts were reeling off wins like it was no one's business, eventually making it to 13-0. I recall watching ESPN's Cold Pizza(now known as First Take), and whenever a team goes undefeated for so long, they usually like to interview a member of the 72 Dolphins team, because clearly a guy that played 30 years ago would have relative insight into this. For some reason they chose one Mercury Morris, a man that was so belligerent and crude they actually cut the satellite feed mid-interview, and awkwardly went to commercial. Then the Colts lost, and he wasn't heard from again, due to no team taking the undefeated streak that far last season.
Enter 07. This time, it's New England with the goose egg in the loss column, and while you'd think they learned their lesson, ESPN has once again decided to bring back the only person I've ever known to be truly worthy of the word "curmudgeon", Mercury Morris. And what has he done? Look for yourself:
You have to realize, that this year, no team has been more vilified or hated than the New England Patriots. And I've read on multiple sites that the complete, overflowing assholery of this man has made them want New England to run the table, in the hopes that Morris either shuts up or returns to his fledgling cocaine business from the 80s and takes one line too many. I mean, for all the accusations of cheating and beating weak opponents the Patriots have taken, this is a Dolphins team with the lowest strength of schedule(the winning percentage of their opponents) of any Superbowl winner, and oh yeah, they cheated and broke an NFL rule when they signed head coach Don Shula(Not curmudgeon-level yet, but certainly cantankerous) away from another team, while he was still under contract. Yet do you see anyone clamoring for an asterisk on their undefeated season? No, they're to be revered, and constantly fellated by every sports journalist and publication. And to their credit, no other member of the team has reached the depths of douchebaggery inhabited by Mercury, so it seems he's alone in his senility. But I can say that it truly saddens me that he wasn't born two years earlier, so he might've somehow found his way into a gas chamber.
Now, I haven't commented on the big picture yet, and I won't, because I view it week to week, and right now, the team we will have to play at our absolute best to beat is the Pittsburgh Steelers. They do everything that the Ravens and Eagles did the past two weeks, but they do it much better, and with the NFL's #1 defense. Previously, when the top defense and offense met, I'd always side with the defense. This time, I'm hoping I'm wrong. As I stated earlier in the season, the one weakness this team has is the run defense. The loss of Roosevelt Colvin only makes it worse. The reason is wasn't evident was because we'd jump out to such huge leads early in the game, that teams would have to pass against us, and couldn't afford to run. But now that we're playing close games, or trailing until the final 44 seconds of the game(heart attack in Baltimore, Jesus fucking christ), it's being exposed. The Eagles ran on us, The Ravens ran like fuck on us, even the Dolphins in a massive losing effort put up 200 on the ground. And now we face Pittsburgh, a team with the second leading rusher in the NFL(Behind Purple Jesus), and the league's top rated defense, which is known for their zone blitzing. I'm not saying it's impossible, because I always believe that this team will win. But we will have to play absolutely perfect football. Perfect.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Manowar rocked by controversy
Shock waves were sent through the metal world when fist-pumping pioneers Manowar were revealed as frauds. A video obtained via an anonymous source shows that the so called "Loudest Band in the World" and "Kings of Metal" actually do not play on 10. Digital enhancement shows that the band's amplifiers are set somewhere in the 6.5 region. When reached for comment, founder Joey DeMaio refused to speak with reporters.
But despite the band's silence, the video's contents have already had an effect. The owners of Leo's Loincloth Warehouse have announced that they will no longer sponsor Manowar's tour, and a similar statement is expected from the Wench Emporium. Our source within the band's organization tells us that this has been a long time coming.
"All this talk of metal this and metal that...they're a bunch of liars. You know what they do when they aren't touring? Karl(Logan) is a rave DJ, and Eric(Adams) spends his free time gardening. He sold one of his old bikes to import some rare Asian flower or something."
But as far as the low amplifier settings?
"They've got tiny little noise-blocking earbuds in during every show. Keeping it at 6.5 allows them to listen to their preferred brand of music, which is usually some smooth jazz. Although I think I saw Joey with the new Maroon 5 album."
While our source may have some critical words, the harshest reprimands are coming from the band's fans.
"What happened to 'all men play on ten, never gonna turn down again,' what happened to everything they stood for?!" said a fan that didn't wish to give us his first name, only going by Mr Ong. "These guys were supposed to be the definition of metal and glory, and instead it's Maroon 5 and pruning shears?! To hell with them, I'm converting to a Rhapsody fan(in reference to the puffy shirt he's wearing, it seems)."
This is only a fraction of what we heard, but most comments are unsuitable for publishing in a family publication such as this. We'll bring you more updates to the story as we get them.
But despite the band's silence, the video's contents have already had an effect. The owners of Leo's Loincloth Warehouse have announced that they will no longer sponsor Manowar's tour, and a similar statement is expected from the Wench Emporium. Our source within the band's organization tells us that this has been a long time coming.
"All this talk of metal this and metal that...they're a bunch of liars. You know what they do when they aren't touring? Karl(Logan) is a rave DJ, and Eric(Adams) spends his free time gardening. He sold one of his old bikes to import some rare Asian flower or something."
But as far as the low amplifier settings?
"They've got tiny little noise-blocking earbuds in during every show. Keeping it at 6.5 allows them to listen to their preferred brand of music, which is usually some smooth jazz. Although I think I saw Joey with the new Maroon 5 album."
While our source may have some critical words, the harshest reprimands are coming from the band's fans.
"What happened to 'all men play on ten, never gonna turn down again,' what happened to everything they stood for?!" said a fan that didn't wish to give us his first name, only going by Mr Ong. "These guys were supposed to be the definition of metal and glory, and instead it's Maroon 5 and pruning shears?! To hell with them, I'm converting to a Rhapsody fan(in reference to the puffy shirt he's wearing, it seems)."
This is only a fraction of what we heard, but most comments are unsuitable for publishing in a family publication such as this. We'll bring you more updates to the story as we get them.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Pats at Colts: 2nd half
Halftime thoughts:
-Joseph Addai has almost 200 all-purpose yards
-Peyton Manning hasn't been sacked, he's barely even been touched
-The Pats offensive line hasn't been looking as dominant as they had earlier in the season
-Laurence Maroney was having success on the ground, but his number hasn't been called very much. 48 yards on just 9 carries
-Did I mention that the key is stopping Addai?
-We need to throw some exotic blitzes at Peyton, break up his rhythm. Once he gets into a groove, the guy is dangerous as all hell.
-By no means has either team looked unstoppable, or terrible. It's been all about good series and bad series.
-And the 2nd half is underway
5:57 - Fuck it, shotgun, open up the passing game. Spread em wide.
5:58 - Decent punt though, pinned em inside the 15.
6:01 - Rodney makes a pick!
6:04 - HOW IS THAT NOT PASS INTERFERENCE ON KEVIN FAULK?!
6:07 - Getting slightly calmer now. Slightly. But the amount of bullshit calls and noncalls against the Pats is ridiculous.
6:08 - That was a good stop on Addai, the defense is getting pissed off. And twice in a row now, this time for a 9 yard loss.
6:11 - I'm just going to refrain from commenting on the penalties, only acknowledging their supposed existence.
6:13 - Absolutely sick one-hander by Randy Moss.
6:17 - Brady's got some speed, picks up the first, and for once, the penalty isn't against New England. Shocking.
6:21 - And this drive ends in a field goal after a 3d down stop by Bob Sanders, who could apparently cure cancer the way the announcers gush about him. Colts 13-10.
6:28 - That was close as fucking shit. Huuuge gain dropped by Reggie Wayne, and that brings up 4th down for the Colts. And a great punt return by Wes Welker.
6:32 - This drive is key, we need to score and take the lead back.
6:34 - Goddamn you Gary Brackett. Interception. Oh wait, and a penalty on the Pats. Of course, it's the standard right now.
6:37 - And there goes Dallas Clark, being fucking open.
6:39 - And now it's first and goal for the Colts.
6:41 - Manning on the keeper from 1 yard out, 20-10 Colts.
6:46 - And another very uncharacteristic Randy Moss drop. The team's gotta get a rhythm going, asap. And that pass was a good start.
6:47 and another fucking drop, Jesus. Moss was basically infallible te entire season, catching anything near him.
6:49 - That's the trifecta right there. Deep pass to Moss in the redzone. Colts penalty. Sanders hurt.
6:53 - Moss called for pass interference(I'm not getting into it, but you can guess what I think about it), but a pass to Welker gets em to 3rd and goal at the 3.
6:56 - And Wes Welker is baaaarely able to squeeze past the pylon into the endzone. Colts lead cut to 3, 20-17
7:00 - We need a 3 and out no-fuck. Rodney Harrison seems to be limping slightly. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
7:02 - Hold on the Colts, and it's now 2nd and 18. Under 6 minutes to go.
7:03 - 3rd and 10.
7:04 - False start, 3rd and 15.
7:05 - 4th down, Welker returns the punt a yard shy of midfield. 3:58 to go.
7:07 - Sick sick catch by Stallworth, and the Pats are already in field goal range, inside the 20.
7:08 - TD Kevin Faulk, and the Pats are gonna lead by four after the extra point, 24-20, with 3:15 left on the clock. My god this is a tense game.
7:10 - Colts have two timeouts left, 3:10 to go, the ball is at the 24. And it's up to the defense.
7:11 - Incomplete pass, 2nd and 10.
7:12 - First down for the Colts, Wayne pushed out of bounds shy of midfield, 1st and 10.
7:13 - Addai stopped after a gain of 1, 2nd and 9.
7:13 - Incomplete pass, 3rd and 9.
7:14 - Pressure on Peyton Manning, the ball falls right into Roosevelt Colvin's hand, Pats get it back, 5 yard penalty, 1st and 10, 2:25 to go at the 46
7:17 - Colts take their final timeout before the two minute warning strikes, it's gonna be 3rd down for the Pats, 3rd and 6.
7:19 - Two minute warning, Pats have the first down, and they can just kneel the ball away now.
7:22 - Clock runs out, game's over, New England Patriots advance to 9-0 and get a well-earned bye week. Goddamn that was a good game.
-Joseph Addai has almost 200 all-purpose yards
-Peyton Manning hasn't been sacked, he's barely even been touched
-The Pats offensive line hasn't been looking as dominant as they had earlier in the season
-Laurence Maroney was having success on the ground, but his number hasn't been called very much. 48 yards on just 9 carries
-Did I mention that the key is stopping Addai?
-We need to throw some exotic blitzes at Peyton, break up his rhythm. Once he gets into a groove, the guy is dangerous as all hell.
-By no means has either team looked unstoppable, or terrible. It's been all about good series and bad series.
-And the 2nd half is underway
5:57 - Fuck it, shotgun, open up the passing game. Spread em wide.
5:58 - Decent punt though, pinned em inside the 15.
6:01 - Rodney makes a pick!
6:04 - HOW IS THAT NOT PASS INTERFERENCE ON KEVIN FAULK?!
6:07 - Getting slightly calmer now. Slightly. But the amount of bullshit calls and noncalls against the Pats is ridiculous.
6:08 - That was a good stop on Addai, the defense is getting pissed off. And twice in a row now, this time for a 9 yard loss.
6:11 - I'm just going to refrain from commenting on the penalties, only acknowledging their supposed existence.
6:13 - Absolutely sick one-hander by Randy Moss.
6:17 - Brady's got some speed, picks up the first, and for once, the penalty isn't against New England. Shocking.
6:21 - And this drive ends in a field goal after a 3d down stop by Bob Sanders, who could apparently cure cancer the way the announcers gush about him. Colts 13-10.
6:28 - That was close as fucking shit. Huuuge gain dropped by Reggie Wayne, and that brings up 4th down for the Colts. And a great punt return by Wes Welker.
6:32 - This drive is key, we need to score and take the lead back.
6:34 - Goddamn you Gary Brackett. Interception. Oh wait, and a penalty on the Pats. Of course, it's the standard right now.
6:37 - And there goes Dallas Clark, being fucking open.
6:39 - And now it's first and goal for the Colts.
6:41 - Manning on the keeper from 1 yard out, 20-10 Colts.
6:46 - And another very uncharacteristic Randy Moss drop. The team's gotta get a rhythm going, asap. And that pass was a good start.
6:47 and another fucking drop, Jesus. Moss was basically infallible te entire season, catching anything near him.
6:49 - That's the trifecta right there. Deep pass to Moss in the redzone. Colts penalty. Sanders hurt.
6:53 - Moss called for pass interference(I'm not getting into it, but you can guess what I think about it), but a pass to Welker gets em to 3rd and goal at the 3.
6:56 - And Wes Welker is baaaarely able to squeeze past the pylon into the endzone. Colts lead cut to 3, 20-17
7:00 - We need a 3 and out no-fuck. Rodney Harrison seems to be limping slightly. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
7:02 - Hold on the Colts, and it's now 2nd and 18. Under 6 minutes to go.
7:03 - 3rd and 10.
7:04 - False start, 3rd and 15.
7:05 - 4th down, Welker returns the punt a yard shy of midfield. 3:58 to go.
7:07 - Sick sick catch by Stallworth, and the Pats are already in field goal range, inside the 20.
7:08 - TD Kevin Faulk, and the Pats are gonna lead by four after the extra point, 24-20, with 3:15 left on the clock. My god this is a tense game.
7:10 - Colts have two timeouts left, 3:10 to go, the ball is at the 24. And it's up to the defense.
7:11 - Incomplete pass, 2nd and 10.
7:12 - First down for the Colts, Wayne pushed out of bounds shy of midfield, 1st and 10.
7:13 - Addai stopped after a gain of 1, 2nd and 9.
7:13 - Incomplete pass, 3rd and 9.
7:14 - Pressure on Peyton Manning, the ball falls right into Roosevelt Colvin's hand, Pats get it back, 5 yard penalty, 1st and 10, 2:25 to go at the 46
7:17 - Colts take their final timeout before the two minute warning strikes, it's gonna be 3rd down for the Pats, 3rd and 6.
7:19 - Two minute warning, Pats have the first down, and they can just kneel the ball away now.
7:22 - Clock runs out, game's over, New England Patriots advance to 9-0 and get a well-earned bye week. Goddamn that was a good game.
Pats at Colts: 1st half
4:11 - The game hasn't started yet, the Vikes-Chargers game is on. And Adrian Peterson has been KILLING them. The guy's got 258 rushing yards, and this is with him splitting carries with Chester Taylor.
4:15 - I hate that kickoff times are nothing but lies. When the clock strikes 4:15, I don't wanna stare Phil Simms in the face. I wanna see some fuckin football. Let's do this. Marvin Harrison and Tony Ugoh are out for the Colts. Eugene Wilson is out for the Pats.
4:19 - And the Colts offense will take the field first. The guys to stop, Dallas Clark and Joseph Addai.
4:22 - Come on fourth down....Damnit.
4:23 - That's nice to see, Richard Seymour chasing down and keeping with Joseph Addai.
4:25 - My ass he got his feet down. But to this point, we haven't gotten an ounce of pressure on Peyton Manning. He's had all day, and his passes have been spot-on.
4:28 - Damnit. The big weakness is the run game, and Addai's just making it look easy. So unless there's a turnover, they're at least gonna get 3 points out of this drive. Fuckin ell.
4:31 - Fuckin Dallas Clark, that was too close for comfort. Come on defense, hold em to 3.
4:33 - I love when announcers just drive a point home over and over, like "Vinatieri's never, ever missed a kick inside the RCA Dome"...and then he misses.
4:36 - It's the pass rush I was worried about most from the Colts, and how the fuck does Nick Kaczur not even try to block? "Oh, let me step aside for you". And shit, nothing against Kevin Faulk, but why is he starting instead of Maroney?
4:37 - Ok, I'm going to blame Jim Nantz for repeatedly stating that the Pats have scored on every first drive for that 3 and out. Jim Nantz and Nick Kaczur. Fuckin hell.
4:42 - Announcers suck part 1: "He's got this wiggle and this hip hop move"
4:43 - Goddamnit Asante. You'd been playing so well. And then you go and commit fucking pass interference against the Colts of all teams, and give them first and goal.
4:44 - How do you have a play like that, with a possible turnover, and not show one single fucking replay?
4:45 - Ok, Asante kinda redeemed himself there. And look at that, the second the play was over, and Gonzalez dropped the ball, how many replays were there?
4:47 - Oh, thank you for the replay after the drive was over. It was definitely appreciated. 3-0 Colts.
4:52 - Randy Moss has entered the building.
4:54 - Very very happy to see Ben Watson in there, as well as Laurence Maroney getting big chunks of yards against this defense.
4:58 - Seriously, where's the offensive line I saw in the first 8 games? An extra second or two would do it, that's all. The Colts D-line isn't so good that you should just completely collapse and go into the fetal position.
5:01 - 3rd and goal, come on, come on...punch that shit in....Randy Moss. Man-crush. Confirmed. Patriots 7-3.
5:08 - 3 penalties for 47 yards...yea, that's not good.
5:10 - STOP JOSEPH ADDAI. CAN SOMEONE COVER HIM? He's already got over 100 all-purpose yards
5:12 - BULLSHIT. MY FUCKING ASS THAT WAS PASS INTERFERENCE.
5:15 - At least we kept em out of the endzone. It's back to the classic "bend but don't break" defense. Pats 7-6.
5:22 - A very rare Randy Moss drop.
5:26 - This game's been more of a defensive struggle than I expected it to be. But I expect the second half to feature more scoring as both teams try to build up a large enough cushion to seal the deal.
5:30 - 2 minute warning. Bill is going to ream them at halftime for all these penalties. 102 yards so far, in one half.
5:34 - And Tom Brady throws his first interception in forever, with a long bomb to Donte Stallworth.
5:39 - TACKLE TACKLE TACKLE. HONESTLY, WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT WAS THAT.
5:42 - First half over, Colts lead 13-7.
Bonus commentary on that touchdown:
BlkMetalDeviant: dgfr
BlkMetalDeviant: xeth
BlkMetalDeviant: erhjt
BlkMetalDeviant: crth
BlkMetalDeviant: BITCHES
GrimNecroWizard: WHAT
BlkMetalDeviant: YOU CALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING TACKLING
GrimNecroWizard: WHAT
GrimNecroWizard: FUCKING WHAT
GrimNecroWizard: OH SHIT
BlkMetalDeviant: WHAT THE JESUIS WAS THAT
GrimNecroWizard: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
BlkMetalDeviant: DID YOU ALL JUST STEP ASIDE
Aiden Macleod: XD
BlkMetalDeviant: WAS HE SOME OLD WOMAN
GrimNecroWizard: FUCKING OWWWWWWWWWWWNED
Aiden Macleod: This is amazing
BlkMetalDeviant: WERE YOU GIVING UP YOUR SEAT ON THE BUS
BlkMetalDeviant: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
crispy927: 13 seconds left int he fucking half
BlkMetalDeviant: YOU WANNA HAND HIM SOME WATER WHILE HE SPRINTS TO THE MARATHON FINISH
crispy927: lmao
Aiden Macleod: "Hey look, hes about to stop that receiver from making to the endzone by jumping at him! Quick, throw the flag! THROW IT!!"
crispy927: so who wants to start the betting on how high OD's Blood pressure is right now
Yea, you can guess which one is me.
4:15 - I hate that kickoff times are nothing but lies. When the clock strikes 4:15, I don't wanna stare Phil Simms in the face. I wanna see some fuckin football. Let's do this. Marvin Harrison and Tony Ugoh are out for the Colts. Eugene Wilson is out for the Pats.
4:19 - And the Colts offense will take the field first. The guys to stop, Dallas Clark and Joseph Addai.
4:22 - Come on fourth down....Damnit.
4:23 - That's nice to see, Richard Seymour chasing down and keeping with Joseph Addai.
4:25 - My ass he got his feet down. But to this point, we haven't gotten an ounce of pressure on Peyton Manning. He's had all day, and his passes have been spot-on.
4:28 - Damnit. The big weakness is the run game, and Addai's just making it look easy. So unless there's a turnover, they're at least gonna get 3 points out of this drive. Fuckin ell.
4:31 - Fuckin Dallas Clark, that was too close for comfort. Come on defense, hold em to 3.
4:33 - I love when announcers just drive a point home over and over, like "Vinatieri's never, ever missed a kick inside the RCA Dome"...and then he misses.
4:36 - It's the pass rush I was worried about most from the Colts, and how the fuck does Nick Kaczur not even try to block? "Oh, let me step aside for you". And shit, nothing against Kevin Faulk, but why is he starting instead of Maroney?
4:37 - Ok, I'm going to blame Jim Nantz for repeatedly stating that the Pats have scored on every first drive for that 3 and out. Jim Nantz and Nick Kaczur. Fuckin hell.
4:42 - Announcers suck part 1: "He's got this wiggle and this hip hop move"
4:43 - Goddamnit Asante. You'd been playing so well. And then you go and commit fucking pass interference against the Colts of all teams, and give them first and goal.
4:44 - How do you have a play like that, with a possible turnover, and not show one single fucking replay?
4:45 - Ok, Asante kinda redeemed himself there. And look at that, the second the play was over, and Gonzalez dropped the ball, how many replays were there?
4:47 - Oh, thank you for the replay after the drive was over. It was definitely appreciated. 3-0 Colts.
4:52 - Randy Moss has entered the building.
4:54 - Very very happy to see Ben Watson in there, as well as Laurence Maroney getting big chunks of yards against this defense.
4:58 - Seriously, where's the offensive line I saw in the first 8 games? An extra second or two would do it, that's all. The Colts D-line isn't so good that you should just completely collapse and go into the fetal position.
5:01 - 3rd and goal, come on, come on...punch that shit in....Randy Moss. Man-crush. Confirmed. Patriots 7-3.
5:08 - 3 penalties for 47 yards...yea, that's not good.
5:10 - STOP JOSEPH ADDAI. CAN SOMEONE COVER HIM? He's already got over 100 all-purpose yards
5:12 - BULLSHIT. MY FUCKING ASS THAT WAS PASS INTERFERENCE.
5:15 - At least we kept em out of the endzone. It's back to the classic "bend but don't break" defense. Pats 7-6.
5:22 - A very rare Randy Moss drop.
5:26 - This game's been more of a defensive struggle than I expected it to be. But I expect the second half to feature more scoring as both teams try to build up a large enough cushion to seal the deal.
5:30 - 2 minute warning. Bill is going to ream them at halftime for all these penalties. 102 yards so far, in one half.
5:34 - And Tom Brady throws his first interception in forever, with a long bomb to Donte Stallworth.
5:39 - TACKLE TACKLE TACKLE. HONESTLY, WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT WAS THAT.
5:42 - First half over, Colts lead 13-7.
Bonus commentary on that touchdown:
BlkMetalDeviant: dgfr
BlkMetalDeviant: xeth
BlkMetalDeviant: erhjt
BlkMetalDeviant: crth
BlkMetalDeviant: BITCHES
GrimNecroWizard: WHAT
BlkMetalDeviant: YOU CALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING TACKLING
GrimNecroWizard: WHAT
GrimNecroWizard: FUCKING WHAT
GrimNecroWizard: OH SHIT
BlkMetalDeviant: WHAT THE JESUIS WAS THAT
GrimNecroWizard: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
BlkMetalDeviant: DID YOU ALL JUST STEP ASIDE
Aiden Macleod: XD
BlkMetalDeviant: WAS HE SOME OLD WOMAN
GrimNecroWizard: FUCKING OWWWWWWWWWWWNED
Aiden Macleod: This is amazing
BlkMetalDeviant: WERE YOU GIVING UP YOUR SEAT ON THE BUS
BlkMetalDeviant: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
crispy927: 13 seconds left int he fucking half
BlkMetalDeviant: YOU WANNA HAND HIM SOME WATER WHILE HE SPRINTS TO THE MARATHON FINISH
crispy927: lmao
Aiden Macleod: "Hey look, hes about to stop that receiver from making to the endzone by jumping at him! Quick, throw the flag! THROW IT!!"
crispy927: so who wants to start the betting on how high OD's Blood pressure is right now
Yea, you can guess which one is me.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Every Guy's Got One
2. mancrush
The highest tier of a man's love for another man, without having any sexual want towards the man.
I have a mancrush on Ryan Dunn for being the man.
To many, the mancrush is a strange thing. Some don't understand exactly what it entails, whether it's attraction, respect, admiration, or something else. This NFL season, I've realized that my mancrush is one Randy Moss, newly acquired wide receiver for the New England Patriots. Basically, if Randy was royalty, I would gladly pledge my allegience to him. There isn't a shadow of a fucking doubt in my mind that he is simply the best receiver in football, period. There is no contest, there is no question. One look at his wikipedia page will show you the various records he holds. And yesterday, during a brutal faceraping of the Dolphins in which the Pats were leading 42-7 at halftime, he had caught two touchdown passes, including one with his fucking elbow. Every game, every week, I see Tom Brady throw a ball up, and Randy is double covered. And the ball comes down, and I curse, because it looks as if one or both defenders got a hand and either broke it up or intercepted it. But then Randy stands up, football in hand, making it look like the easiest fucking thing.
In the entire Belichick era, there has never been a team like this. It's always been defense first, and then Tom Brady just finds a way to get points on the board. During the Superbowl years of 03 and 04, the team went 14-2, but they were all hard fought games, many won on the final drives. But this is something completely different. There's never been a team under him that's been such an offensive juggernaut, and Tom Brady's sure as fuck never had a weapon like Randy Moss. 3rd and 18? No problem, just heave it towards the endzone. Oh look, Randy caught the ball over two defenders. With one hand. While sleeping. And he'll always have the presence to know how close he is to going out of bounds, and that he'll have to drag his feet. And it doesn't hurt to have Tom Brady throwing it, who somehow manages to put the ball right out of the defender's range, but exactly where Randy can pull it in. Whether it's from the side, the top, underneath, wherever. And I'm not trying to be one of those gloating New England fans, because I know how they are. I'm honestly just amazed at the way this season has progressed thus far. I'm not going to get ahead of myself and make bold predictions or statements. One week at a game, one game at a time. But what we've seen so far has been nothing short of magnificent.
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